At work...

Hi

I started my new job on July 20th. So far, I'm bored. It's very slow for me right now. I believe things will begin picking up soon and I can't wait! While the boredom gets to me, there are some things I love already. First of all, I love being able to leave at 4:30, every day. I catch the train home and am in my house by about 5:05 pm. It's fantastic. I do not have to give another thought to work until the next morning, when I catch the 7:21 am train to work. Secondly, I like the people. There are other things I like but for now I'll leave it at that. Since I'm pregnant, one thing bothering me is my exhaustion. Typically, I'm very social and love talking with people, getting to know people, etc...but...I'm so tired I have so little energy...so I feel kind of behind in this department and I dont like that.

A few things have been on my mind lately...little things but I will write about them.

1. Why are people afraid to aknowledge that they may have a problem? Why the fear? Do you know the type? He/She will complain on end about something or someone that really bothers them. I mean, really bothers them! They feel taken advantage of, abused, neglected, walked on, etc...it is something that consumes a lot of their mental energy...yet, when you pose a question such as, "When did this become a problem?" They'll say, "Oh it's not a problem." But that makes no sense to me. You just finished (and probably not for the first time) telling me how you feel taken advantage of, or neglected, or abused, or whatever...but you won't classify this as a problem. Meaning---you will NEVER resolve this issue and you will continue to whine endlessly about it forever and ever. Whining is very unattractive by the way. Not saying I don't whine but still! I'm not ashamed of having problems, and if you're my friend, you probably hear about them constantly! At the same time, I'm the first one to go to a counselor and/or make some hard changes. As I write this, I consider the possibility that those who know me may be reading this thinking...YOU have PROBLEMS!!! I am sure I have many problems I don't even know about yet...I'm mainly talking about the problems we know about. And I guess my big point here is...it's almost offensive to me when I realize a person is afraid to admit they may have a problem...no matter how big or small. Who are you that has no problems? Who are you that has nothing to work on? I see life as exciting, challenging, always changing...we have opportunities to improve every day...but are we taking those opportunities? Or are we okay with living a mediocre life...complaining about the same things...being the victim with no control...and having things always stay the same? And one more disclaimer...I do know that many of us have periods in life where things are really fantastic and we can't think of many complaints! And that's great! I'm writing just for those moments in life when we know there could be something that needs work.

2. Day care costs...ugh!!!

3. Telling my employer the news...what will their reaction be? Will they be upset I only started in July? Will they see me as a bad employee? I was not pregnant when I interviewed with them, received the offer letter, etc...but the background check took almost three months and a lot can happen in three months!

4. When will I have my energy back?

5. I wish I could publicize my blog to friends but am not comfortable with people seeing my innermost thoughts...yet :)