Someone said I should title my blog "The Angry Mom Blog" since I tend to only write it in when something is bothering me.
It's been too long. I miss you blog!!! I was thinking of taking a creative writing class...maybe something online...then I was like, why not just write in my blog?
Where do I BEGIN?
Let's see...I'm having an extremely hard time figuring out who the new "me" is. What I mean is, I'm having an identity crisis! I've always been somewhat of an "all or nothing" person meaning I do what I do really well or don't do it at all. I'm finding that as a mom, that's impossible. I can't be a superstar at work because well, frankly, I'm not willing to work a minute past 3:30. My hours are from 7:00 am - 3:30 pm. Jack's had some pretty big health issues (they seem big to me anyway) over the past five months and I've had to take a lot of time off work. So I don't feel like a success at work. At the same time, I don't feel like a success as a mom. How am I a success? I only see my son 2 hours each day before he goes to bed for the night. I also feel like a failure as a friend...because I really can't do anything anymore. I work full time and so the time I'm not working, I want and need to spend it with the fam. So I feel just like...a failure. This is dramatic and probably a very negative way of looking at it. But I'm sure it will get better...I hope.
In other news, Jack is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! After two kidney infections, C. Diff, ear infections, reflux, colds, yada yada yada...he is finally feeling GOOD and just so cute and adorable and HAPPY. Oh and for all you with easy babies, stop saying, "Oh my baby is so happy!" GUHHHHHHHHHH that is so annoying to me. Jack is NOT easy and pretty...tempermental...but I like to think he is so happy even though not easy. I'm going to start saying, "Oh my baby is so SMART." Difficult babies must be smart ;)
K I'm done.
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Lauren- I completely understand and I often feel the same way-- There is never a minute of feeling like you are "great" at one thing-- but I think that balance is part of that- to know that you don't have to be star at work all the time- and you're not going to be perfect mom all the time- but we'll have moments of shining joy and delight- moments of "I don't know what I'm doing" and moments of "I'm just tired." Some days work will be thrilling and some days not- and some days parenthood is amazing and some days its not... but life is still beautiful- and joyful- and I thank God that we have friends and support to live it together and I thank God for you.
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