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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Let's Talk About Our Pets...OMG

Ah Bailey...the cute yellow lab we adopted from our real estate agent when we bought our house almost six years ago...well...I'm starting to understand why they let us adopt her!  OH.MY.GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'll admit it...we had better days.  Like her in this picture where she looks miserable b/c we're actually showing her affection...

Bailey has always been John's dog...and I love her but what the heck!!!  People ask, "Oh how is Bailey doing?"  They ask b/c she has some massive tumor on her front leg joint and has for the longest time seemed sort of on the brink.  In fact, we even got another dog thinking, Bailey is going to die soon we want her to teach the puppy some manners before she goes.  Lately, when people ask how Bailey is doing, I say, "TOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Why did I feed her such expensive dog food and why did I always give her vegetables?  I'm convinced this is at the root of her longevity. 

John's Pride and Joy (old pic):

Even I had my moments with her...see???

She WAS kind of cute and pretty:

Disclaimer:  I will feel sad when she dies and terribly guilty for blogging about how she is living too long...and no one will believe me...b/c I blogged about how annoying she is. 

You probably think I'm can I say this about my very own dog?  Well, I don't know!  But I can!  She was getting slightly annoying even before Jack arrived.  But now, she has reached new levels.  I have no free hands and can't yell at her across the house like I used to do since I don't want to scare Jack.  I'm forced to sit there nursing Jack or whatever (so I can't get up) and grit my teeth, thinking bad thoughts.  John gets mad at me when I talk like this but WOW!  Can any dog be more annoying? 

Bailey has a few redeeming qualities?  Oh wait, no she doesn't.  The neighbor kids don't even want to play with her anymore.  When she is sick, she wants to hug.  That's it.  There you have it, WHEN MY DOG IS SICK, she is cuddly and lovable.  When she's sick.  Which is always preceeding an expensive trip to the vet.

But she has a ton of really annoying qualities!

1.  She barks INCESSANTLY.  She request barks when she wants to come inside, when she wants to go outside, when she wants a treat or a bone, when she wants food, when she wants fresh water (and she'll only drink from a certain type of water bowl). She barks when someone knocks on the door, when she THINKS she hears ANYTHING.  It's absolutely ridiculous.  We don't  hit our dogs but even if we did, I promise you IT WOULDNT WORK.  Even if we used one of those bark collers, it wouldnt work!!  Actually, once my parents put an invisible fence collar on her at their lake house to keep her in the yard...she stood right on the line, you could hear the thing buzzing but it didnt faze her because her fur is too thick...which leads me to the next point...

2.  SHE SHEDS LIKE A MANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My house is full of hair!  My clothes are covered!  I buy lint rollers in bulk.  I vacuum the furniture regularly to no avail!  She has like five coats of fur.  It's absolutely crazy.  Don't EVER get a dog with light fure that sheds so much.  It's stupid!!!  I never feel like things are clean.  Her hair floats through the air and lands on every surface.  This is despite our efforts with bathing and "The Furminator"

3.  SHE WONT LET YOU PET HER!!!  Try it!  If you pet her, she moves to a different location.  She does not like to be touched.  She just wants to be around.  She has been this way her entire life.  Something is wrong with this dog.

4.  She STINKS!!!  Talk about smelly farts.  GAH. 

5.  When people come over, she knows we will do whatever we can to SHUT HER UP so she will stand right on the edge of the kitchen and living room staring at where we keep the bones and treats BARKING and NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING will shut her up.  You can put her outside but then she'll stand at the door barking to let her back in.  You can make her lay down, which she'll do, and ten, five seconds later, no one second later, she is back up barking. 

6.  She costs us about the same as a cell phone or gym membership b/c of her "doggie morphine"

7.  We have to CARRY her up and down the stairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't really have many pictures to demonstrate how annoying she is now.  But here is a picture of her BARKING at me when I think she was somewhat bottomed out with all that snow we got this winter...haha!

Need I continue?  I already feel evil.  But WOW...I cannot deal with this crazy dysfunctional mental dog!  Sorry John, it's the simple truth.  She is past her prime, ready to go...but she's hanging on for dear life.  Maybe she is worried how Goose (this is our fantastic dog) will cope without her.   Even when I was at Petsmart last night buying food, when the cashier asked me what kind of dogs I have I told her I have an old yellow lab and a young pointer mix.  She said, "Ohhhh I have a 9 year old yellow lab and I hope she lives forever but she is getting so gray!"  I just flat out said, "Oh I'm ready for mine to go."  She didn't know what to say.  The guy behind me said his yellow lab died at 13.   The craziest thing of all is the vet wants me to pay almost $900 for surgery to remove the tumor on her leg.  !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I apologize, I'm sure people won't like this post and they will post comments about how I'm a bad dog owner, and her lack of discipline is my fault, etc etc.  MAybe it is.  Whatever!


  1. Love your dogs!

    I'm new from Friday Follow - nice to meet you. I hope you'll follow me back here

  2. Lauren so sorry to hear about Bailey. We lost Allie to cancer on Saturday so I feel your pain. She was a crazy dog but we loved her none the less. My house feels so empty without her. She would lay up in my office with me while I worked so it has been lonely. Just make sure that you spend as much quality time with him as you can.

  3. Your dog is autistic... duh!



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