Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. (Remember that book? Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad day)
So if you read my blog, you know by now that I am constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY, torn about whether I should be working or staying at home with Jack. I'll reach a place where I feel at peace with my decision and it might last a month before I'm thrown for a loop again and its all over. I may be thrown for a loop when Jack gets sick, or someone makes a comment I take personally, or DAYCARE ISSUES. DAYCARE ISSUES SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John has been travelling in San Francisco all week and I haven't been able to talk to him much because of the time difference. His flight gets in tonight at 1:30 AM...I will be so happy to have him home. He does so much to help that I apparently take for granted...I'm just completely pooped. But, speaking of poop...
John typically drops Jack off at daycare around 7:00 or 7:15 AM. I pick Jack up at 4:00 pm. Since John is out of town, I dropped Jack off at daycare in the morning, my mother in law picked Jack up for me in the afternoon so I could stay late at work to make up the time. So I got home yesterday and Mary Ellen, my mother-in-law, happened to mention in passing that Jack seemed happy when she picked him up but he was pretty mad when Z was changing his diaper. This is an important fact to remember...Z changing his diaper at 4:00 pm.
I use cloth diapers so I know how often he is changed b/c all the used diapers come back to me tied in a wet bag. Each night I take out the wetbag from the diaper pail and throw it in the diaper pail until I'm ready to wash the diapers. I don't use cloth diapers for the purpose of keeping track of how often he is changed, but it does allow me to do so.
Well, Jack seems to have a constant diaper rash. If its not a full fledged rash, its just red and irritated. I kept thinking he must just have very sensitive skin. Well, yesterday evening I was changing his diaper and thought to myself, jeez...diaper rash again. I told myself to check the wet bag to see how many diapers Z had used that day. I was just curious. I forgot to check last night but this morning, I checked real quick right before I loaded Jack in the car to bring him to daycare. To my dismay, there was only ONE dirty diaper in the bag. Z had only changed him ONE time, the entire day, at 4:00 pm. Meaning, Jack had not been changed one time from when I had changed him around 6:45 AM, til 4:00 pm when my mother in law picked him up. That is just neglectful! We have had to address this issue with Z before...but its never been this bad. It was one time pretty bad but she was VERY apologetic and seemed to have a legitimate excuse that worked for me. But I can't tolerate this. I am not very confrontational, although I'm sure John would disagree ;). But I have to make sure my son is taken care of. So when I dropped him off, I very nicely said, "Z, could you change Jack at least three times today? You know, b/c of diaper rash and stuff?" She said, "The diaper rash is b/c of you." I said, "You only changed him once yesterday." She said, "He didn't have diaper rash yesterday." I said, "I don't care about diaper rash. I don't want him sitting in a wet diaper all day." She said, "Okay"...but I was upset that she is actually trying to blame me for diaper rash. I CHANGE HIS DIAPER. Gah!
So since John is out of town, I can't talk to him...it was something like 4:00 AM in San Fransisco when this was happening. My poor, poor co-workers. They had to listen to me go on and on all day, crying off and on. ugh. So I text my friend, who upon my recommendation, had moved her son to Z's daycare two weeks ago. I said, "I'm disturbed b/c Z only changed Jack once yesterday." She responded by saying last week when her husband picked up her 18 month old, her son hadn't been changed at all, the entire day. She knows that b/c she had brought him to a doctors appointment that morning and had used one of the doctors diapers, which are different than hers. That's how she knew he hadn't been changed.
There is a 2 1/2 year old at daycare named Cash. He is a bully! He hits Jack (he even hits me sometimes). When I picked up Jack the other day, he pushed my friends son, TWICE! Luckily, her son is very easy going but I said, "Wow, Cash is mean." Z has said he only does this when I'm there which may be the case but, still... Z responded, "That's just how boys are." I said, "No, it isn't." She knew this bothered me so she said a couple days later that she had "talked" to Cash about the hitting. I'm sure that a "talk" is effective with a two year old. (NOT) So this was already a concern of mine and the diaper issue is just...too much.
John says we should talk to her, get her on some sort of system...I think he actually used the words "help her with process improvement." Oh John, that's endearing. But NO...that's not going to work. I should never have to ever address diaper changing...you are a DAYCARE PROVIDER. CHANGE THE DIAPERS. I was talking to my sister in law, Whitney. She said..."WHAT! That's neglectful! You pay her to keep him safe and clean!" I was like, you're right! It already bothered me that every day his face is dirty with dried up food but I never saw that as a deal breaker...I'd just clean him up when I got home. But you know, I don't think he is probably comfortable with food all over his face, just like I wouldn't be. So keep his face clean, keep his diaper clean, don't neglect your kids.
My friend and I decided we will try taking the daycare center route. This is the second in-home daycare for both of us. We called around and think we MIGHT have an answer...this place won't have a spot for Jack until February but I don't mind leaving him with Z until then and just knowing I'll have to stay all over her to make sure she does these basic fundamental daycare tasks. GRRRR....I'm so mad about this.
Also, I really feel like I'm a bad mom. Having to move Jack for the THIRD TIME since apparently I am AWFUL at picking a good daycare. Ugh. Horrible.