God Thoughts, I MISS Him

Can anyone tell me about "Post-It Note Tuesday"?  What is it?  How do I do it?

Also, anyone have any idea what some of these writers workshops I'm seeing are?  I see them on some mom-blogs?

I'm going to attempt more frequent posts over the next couple of months.  I have a lot whirring through my mind lately and, it will be good to have an outlet.

This is going to be a very brief post because all of the sudden, I have a mind-block.  Of course!  But something I have been thinking about.  A friend and I were chatting on the phone.  She says, I like doing nice things, thats what friends are for!  And God gives back to us when we give to others, right?  I said, Yes!

I'm paraphrasing the above.  But I have been thinking about that conversation today and realized, God gives back to us, even when we don't give to others and even when we don't do nice things for others and even when we utterly do NOT deserve it...he loves us and will bless our lives.  Amazing, right?

I've been in the biggest sort of...RUT...with God for probably the last year!  Partially because I feel very disconnected not only from God but the church in general.  In the past, I think I have always felt connected by being involved.  Jack has been such a "high maitenance"...or should I say it positively..."SPIRITED"...child that we have issues leaving him in the nursery...he cries the entire time...(even though the ladies are great)...it's just been challenging.  It's not too hard bringing him into the service with us but there is no way I want to bring him into Sunday School.  I would love to become more involved with the POLOS group (Parents of Little Ones)...not only is it hard to jump into something new where you don't know as many people but, its hard to give up the church service to go to the Sunday School class and then figure out how to leave Jack in the nursery without him flipping out...Anyway, so yes...I feel kind of, in a huge rut.  I keep trying to figure how to pull out of it, how to become more connected to God.  I know, I can pray more, I can read the Bible more, I can become more involved at church.  But I also know God meets us where we're at sometimes...we don't have to DO more in order to be more loved or connected by God.  How come it seems hard then?  I think it comes back to this one issue for me again and again throughout my Spiritual journey.

So this has been on my mind...a lot.  And I realized, God loves me, you know?  But I'm not reaching out to him at all.  I hardly pray (John and I sometimes pray together at night when we think of it or dont fall asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow), I never read the Bible (I will occassionally read a morning devotional), we only make it to church half the time these days (so there goes the fellowship which is hugely important to me)...no matter what God is doing to reach me, I'm not doing anything to reach him.  So nothing short of a smack over the head could possibly catch my attention.  What if I just try to reach out, even just a little, maybe five minutes of prayer or five minutes of reading the Bible each day?  What would happen?  Will I feel more connected, closer to God? Like any relationship, if one person is closed off, no matter what the other person does, they're not going to get through.  Do I need to make myself more available to God?  I'll let you know how that goes!

Because the thing is, I MISS God.  I feel like, He isn't a big part of me right now.  I know he is there, but how come it always comes back to me feeling like there is some wall between me and Him?  I am focusing on this passage:

Matthew 7:7-12 (New Living Translation)

Effective Prayer

 ⁷ “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.  ⁹ “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? ¹⁰ Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! ¹¹ So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

God

Over the past couple of days I've been pondering my relationship with God.

Like any of the relationships we have with anyone (friends, spouses, co-workers, etc)...we go through our ups and downs. At least, I do!

Last night, at my weekly Bible study with the young adult women at my church, we discussed running with Christ in freedom---specifically related to anxiety...this is an area that a lot of us tend to struggle with!

The study emphasized how Christ wants us to come to him, cast allllll of our anxieties on him and to worry about today only. One of the passages we read was Matthew 6:25-34. Let me type if out for you...

Do Not Worry

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

It seems to always come back to this for me. I do tend to be an anxious person. Of course, I would absolutely LOVE to cast my anxieties on the Lord! I would love to not worry about my life, what I will wear...and I intellectually can understand how much God must love ME considering how much He even cares for the tiny little birds (even the ones that get up right close to me when I eat outside and scare me) and how he has so beautifully designed the flowers...but it is a harder concept to grasp in my heart. I also know that God wants us to go to him with all of our troubles and concerns...we see this often in the Psalms...check out Psalm 6 (http://www.biblegateway.com/). I love reading the Psalms...it reminds me we are not alone in our troubles.

But whenever I read these passages, I wonder what keeps me from really grasping the love of God? How can I not only know it in my head, but feel it in my heart as well? Maybe its impossible for us to really comprehend how much each of us are loved by God? I came across this quote which I liked...and I'd like to really "feel it" one of these days.

"Let us feel that He has His heart set upon us, that He is watching us from those heavens with tender interest, that He is following us day by day as a mother follows her babe in his first attempt to walk alone, that He has set His love upon us,... and in spite of ourselves is working out for us His highest will and blessing, as far as we will let Him ---and then nothing can discourage us." -A.B. Simpson, Closer Walk

How awesome!

What are your thoughts on this? I'd love to hear your feedback.