The end of an era...

I quit pumping at work!!!  Jack is exactly nine months old.  I wanted to do this until he was 12 months.  He only had one ounce of formula when he was a day old and since then, had no formula.  I tested it out last week and it seems like he has no preference of breastmilk or formula.  So I thought, I'm going to stop pumping at work...and will continue to nurse him morning and evening.  Well, in one week, it seems my supply has totally adjusted to me not pumping during the day and I'm worried my supply will drop to the point it's not enough for him to nurse in the morning and evening.  All of the sudden, I'm very sad about it.  I also feel guilty about it.  Like I'm falling short, not making it to the one year mark.  It's been so tedious pumping twice every day at work.  And going to work with no pump bag in hand is a great feeling!  Freeeedom!  But today I  brought the pump again and thought, maybe I'll just pump once a day at least for another month...to ensure my body will continue to make enough for the morning and evening pump.  That will bring me to 10 months.  Then maybe my supply will stay up to get him to 11 months of morning/evening nurse and formula during the day.  Luckily, Jack isn't a picky kid.  He'll go to sleep just fine without nursing.  But I do think he likes the cuddle time...I know I do!!!!!!!!!  I'll really miss it. 

The other strange feeling is...well, I really don't like the baby stage very much.  I love JACK (so much sometimes its painful!), but I keep thinking, wow I'm going to love it when he's a "kid" and can talk to me, let me know what he's feeling, etc.  But this end of an era...the end of breast feeding...I just feel like...where is the time going!  It's too fast.  Before I know it, he's going to be getting married and I'll have to call him all the time to get him to remember me.  Okay, I'm getting way ahead of myself.  I just hope I'm not missing too much of this time...

Anyway, those are my thoughts today.  I'm sure it will continue to go round and round in my head until I feel I have some peace about the situation.  Not sure what to do about the BFing (Breast Feeding).