I'm so tired I am dilerious. I had a hair appointment tonight (first haircut in 3-4 months) and after I needed to run by the grocery store to get Jack's prescription filled. (Also, John had a hankering for ice cream and I told him I'd pick some up). It was 8 pm and I sat in the parking lot before stepping out of the car just feeling...bleh! Rubbing my eyes trying to gain some sort of...I don't know...normal feelings. I hate it when I'm so tired that I am not really even aware of the people around me. I remember this kid doing some strange dance in front of the security cameras coming into the store as I was leaving. And this manager telling one of the employees she is so sorry she forgot about her. You know when you just have these small glimpses but are just...out of it. That's how I feel! I didn't even know what the shampoo girl looked like until I had to look at her because she started going on and on about how Halloween is her favorite holiday of the year...more than her birthday even. Anyway, I'm tired. WHY am I tired? BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he has had his share of health issues. Three kidney infections, C. Diff, two ear infections, colds, yada yada. I've gotten used to responding to everything with him...because of course, if he's sick, than that's what I'm goin to do! But now, oh WOW. He loves sleeping in my bed. Seriously! He stretches out like a king with almost a grin on his face. So I got in this bad habit of bringing him into bed with us when he wakes up and I want to sleep...so much easier than dealing with his waking up all night. I may have created a monster...not sure. He wakes up soooooooooooooo much. WOAH. And he wants to be in our bed! I had to take him to the pediatrician today for a follow up appt after his most recent kidney infection. She said that first of all, around the nine month mark, they do tend to regress with sleep...they become more aware of the world around them. But that we need to just pick a time, gut up and get Jack to stop associating MY BED (ME) with sleep. Ugh. Again? We've had to do this before too. It works quickly but its hard! So tonight John is in charge. When Jack wakes up, John has to basically go in and say, Hi Jack...its 1:30 AM...go to sleep. Goodnight. Something like that. Something to let Jack know we're there but not playing. As the doctor is telling me this, Jack is throwing his normal fits. He's gotten pretty cranky lately b/c he is not really sleeping anymore...she pointed out I need sleep to be best for him and he needs sleep too! And it's true. So that's it...no more! He has to learn. I know everyone has their differing opinions on sleep methods but at the end of the day, it really does come down to you, your kid, your family and what works best. I just can't go on anymore with so little sleep. Over the weekend he was waking up every hour on the hour until I brought him into my bed. My sleep method is to do what works, be consistent, and then lie to everyone who disagrees with me? You believe in co-sleeping and baby wearing? ME TOO! You believe in Cry-it-out? ME TOO! You believe in whatever? ME TOO! I honestly don't care b/c I hate hearing peoples opinions. I'm too tired to have a discussion with anyone about their opinion. BAH! I'm tired. Going to sleep. If you disagree with me, then lie. Or else...we're not friends anymore. HAHAHA. Kidding kind of. This is what sleep deprivation can do to a person! I can't even carry a conversation and my tooth hurts so now I'm worried I have something wrong with my teeth. GOODNIGHT!