Lie Lie Lie

Hullo!

I'm so tired I am dilerious.  I had a hair appointment tonight (first haircut in 3-4 months) and after I needed to run by the grocery store to get Jack's prescription filled.  (Also, John had a hankering for ice cream and I told him I'd pick some up).  It was 8 pm and I sat in the parking lot before stepping out of the car just feeling...bleh!  Rubbing my eyes trying to gain some sort of...I don't know...normal feelings.  I hate it when I'm so tired that I am not really even aware of the people around me.  I remember this kid doing some strange dance in front of the security cameras coming into the store as I was leaving.  And this manager telling one of the employees she is so sorry she forgot about her.  You know when you just have these small glimpses but are just...out of it.  That's how I feel!  I didn't even know what the shampoo girl looked like until I had to look at her because she started going on and on about how Halloween is her favorite holiday of the year...more than her birthday even.  Anyway, I'm tired.  WHY am I tired? BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So he has had his share of health issues.  Three kidney infections, C. Diff, two ear infections, colds, yada yada.  I've gotten used to responding to everything with him...because of course, if he's sick, than that's what I'm goin to do! But now, oh WOW.  He loves sleeping in my bed.  Seriously!  He stretches out like a king with almost a grin on his face. So I got in this bad habit of bringing him into bed with us when he wakes up and I want to sleep...so much easier than dealing with his waking up all night.  I may have created a monster...not sure.  He wakes up soooooooooooooo much.  WOAH.  And he wants to be in our bed!  I had to take him to the pediatrician today for a follow up appt after his most recent kidney infection.  She said that first of all, around the nine month mark, they do tend to regress with sleep...they become more aware of the world around them.  But that we need to just pick a time, gut up and get Jack to stop associating MY BED (ME) with sleep.  Ugh.  Again?  We've had to do this before too.  It works quickly but its hard!  So tonight John is in charge.  When Jack wakes up, John has to basically go in and say, Hi Jack...its 1:30 AM...go to sleep.  Goodnight.  Something like that.  Something to let Jack know we're there but not playing.  As the doctor is telling me this, Jack is throwing his normal fits.  He's gotten pretty cranky lately b/c he is not really sleeping anymore...she pointed out I need sleep to be best for him and he needs sleep too!  And it's true.  So that's it...no more!  He has to learn.  I know everyone has their differing opinions on sleep methods but at the end of the day, it really does come down to you, your kid, your family and what works best.  I just can't go on anymore with so little sleep.  Over the weekend he was waking up every hour on the hour until I brought him into my bed.  My sleep method is to do what works, be consistent, and then lie to everyone who disagrees with  me?  You believe in co-sleeping and baby wearing?  ME TOO!  You believe in  Cry-it-out?  ME TOO!  You believe in whatever?  ME TOO!  I honestly don't care b/c I  hate hearing peoples opinions.  I'm too tired to have a discussion with anyone about their opinion. BAH!  I'm tired.  Going to sleep.  If you disagree with me, then lie.  Or else...we're not friends anymore.  HAHAHA.  Kidding kind of.  This is what sleep deprivation can do to a person!  I can't even carry a conversation and my tooth hurts so now I'm worried I have something wrong with my teeth.  GOODNIGHT!

Hard Night

Well, my grandmother is leaving tomorrow.  It was great having her here and its sad to see her go.  Too bad we can't convince her to spend more time here...maybe during the long Wisconsin winters she could be here.  Anyway, Jack is just not acting right.  I dont think his ear infection has gone away and the antibiotics are done tomorrow.  He has a low grade fever off and on.  And he is not acting right at all.  It makes me so worried.  Johns mom is watching him this week and she couldnt get him to nap today...she says he falls asleep and then suddenly wakes up like he is in pain.  When I got home at 4, he acted so relieved to see me.  But because he was so tired, I could barely keep him up.  Literally, he was falling asleep as I gave him medicine.  He didn't look right at all.  I had been thinking he was just over tired from being away this wknd.  Now I'm thinking there is something more going on.  I will go to work in the morning and call the doctor when they open to see if I can get him in for an appointment. 

Tonight he completely fell asleep by 6...I mean, I could NOT keep him awake for anything, not even to eat.  I had told my friend Elizabeth I would go to Buy Buy Baby to help her register (for her twins!!!).  I know she didn't want to wait until 8 which is when I thought the earliest I could be there was...but I called her at six since thats when Jack fell asleep.  John called me shortly after I got to the store b/c he had already woken up.  I wanted to come home but John told me not to so I didn't.  John got him back to sleep but I'm just having such mixed feelings about working.  I hate being away from him and when I get home, I have no idea why he is acting like he is.  Because I wasn't with him.  I also felt guilty not being there when he woke up tonight.  I know John is great with him but I want to be there when he isn't feeling good.  I just really thought he was down for the night.  So tonight has been a struggle.  The wedding was great because it was my brother but it would take another sibling getting married for me to leave town and go through this again.  Jack is just not a go with the flow baby and its not fair to him to drag him around outside of his routine.

Well, I'll keep you posted on the doctor's appointment if I decide to take him in tomorrow.

"The Quick and Dirty on Sleep"

Love this "Ask Moxie" blog post...

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

Especially where she says:

"Whatever gets the maximum number of hours of sleep for the maximum number of people in your household, that's what you should do. And when anyone asks you how your baby's sleeping, just lie and say everything's great."

She also says something somewhere about how you just have to learn...does your baby cry to release tension or does crying build tension in your baby?  That could help you figure out what sleep strategy you'll try with yours!