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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

God Thoughts, I MISS Him

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Can anyone tell me about "Post-It Note Tuesday"?  What is it?  How do I do it?

Also, anyone have any idea what some of these writers workshops I'm seeing are?  I see them on some mom-blogs?


I'm going to attempt more frequent posts over the next couple of months.  I have a lot whirring through my mind lately and, it will be good to have an outlet.

This is going to be a very brief post because all of the sudden, I have a mind-block.  Of course!  But something I have been thinking about.  A friend and I were chatting on the phone.  She says, I like doing nice things, thats what friends are for!  And God gives back to us when we give to others, right?  I said, Yes!

I'm paraphrasing the above.  But I have been thinking about that conversation today and realized, God gives back to us, even when we don't give to others and even when we don't do nice things for others and even when we utterly do NOT deserve it...he loves us and will bless our lives.  Amazing, right?

I've been in the biggest sort of...RUT...with God for probably the last year!  Partially because I feel very disconnected not only from God but the church in general.  In the past, I think I have always felt connected by being involved.  Jack has been such a "high maitenance"...or should I say it positively..."SPIRITED"...child that we have issues leaving him in the nursery...he cries the entire time...(even though the ladies are great)...it's just been challenging.  It's not too hard bringing him into the service with us but there is no way I want to bring him into Sunday School.  I would love to become more involved with the POLOS group (Parents of Little Ones)...not only is it hard to jump into something new where you don't know as many people but, its hard to give up the church service to go to the Sunday School class and then figure out how to leave Jack in the nursery without him flipping out...Anyway, so yes...I feel kind of, in a huge rut.  I keep trying to figure how to pull out of it, how to become more connected to God.  I know, I can pray more, I can read the Bible more, I can become more involved at church.  But I also know God meets us where we're at sometimes...we don't have to DO more in order to be more loved or connected by God.  How come it seems hard then?  I think it comes back to this one issue for me again and again throughout my Spiritual journey.

So this has been on my mind...a lot.  And I realized, God loves me, you know?  But I'm not reaching out to him at all.  I hardly pray (John and I sometimes pray together at night when we think of it or dont fall asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow), I never read the Bible (I will occassionally read a morning devotional), we only make it to church half the time these days (so there goes the fellowship which is hugely important to me)...no matter what God is doing to reach me, I'm not doing anything to reach him.  So nothing short of a smack over the head could possibly catch my attention.  What if I just try to reach out, even just a little, maybe five minutes of prayer or five minutes of reading the Bible each day?  What would happen?  Will I feel more connected, closer to God? Like any relationship, if one person is closed off, no matter what the other person does, they're not going to get through.  Do I need to make myself more available to God?  I'll let you know how that goes!

Because the thing is, I MISS God.  I feel like, He isn't a big part of me right now.  I know he is there, but how come it always comes back to me feeling like there is some wall between me and Him?  I am focusing on this passage:

Matthew 7:7-12 (New Living Translation)

Effective Prayer
 7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.  9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

2 comments:

  1. We should talk more often! It seems we are in the same boat! Reading your post made me feel so much better about the rut I'm in. Thank you! Also, thank you for the comment on my blog. I'm hoping that now I am a bit more focused, doing daily prayers and reading a devotional, I'll be more centered with the Big Man Himself. I hope you the find the answers you are looking for.

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  2. 1. I like your new layout!
    2. I really appreciate your honesty in this post. I feel like you were typing from my own thoughts - you pretty much nailed what I feel from time to time. It's like a cycle, for me at least.
    3. Jeremiah 29:13 is a good one. I have it posted on my wall where I can see it every day. The fact that I even have to do that reminds me even more of how much I need God!

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