Making things easier...

Working moms (or any type of moms) have to find tricks to simplify life in order to juggle the day-to-day.  I'll talk more about the tricks I've discovered and use in future posts.  Today, I will talk about the trick that has made the biggest improvement in our life...nightly meals.  Up until about a month ago, I just could not get that together.  I would pick up Jack from daycare every afternoon at 4:00 and from then on, it felt like a race to the finish line (bedtime).  Late afternoon is Jack's crankiest time of day and he pretty much demands undivided attention and a lot of entertaining!!!  My mom told me that I should put him in the highchair and cook dinner after work but...that does not work.  A neighbor happened to offer me a freezer they had laying around...this is what sparked the idea in my head to begin cooking on weekends.  I accepted their offer...only, the freezer did not work.  I had Sears come out to repair it...the repair would cost $300!!!  I posted the freezer on Craigslist and gave it away for free to someone who could fix it themselves.  I then invested in an upright freezer for the garage.  It was about $400.  Worth every penny!

I started a new routine.  It goes like this: 

Friday night:  Order my groceries from Harris Teeter
Saturday morning:  John watches Jack, I Pick up groceries from Harris Teeter (more about this trick later) and make a quick Costco run if needed.  This is typically during Jack's nap so I do not miss much with him.
Sunday:  Begin cooking during Jack's naptime and after Jack goes to bed.  Freeze meals for the week ahead.

The first couple of weeks I did a lot of extra cooking even on weekday evenings after Jack was asleep to build up a stash of meals.  This was an AMAZING feeling!!!  My new routine allowed me to have dinner on the table every night...not just Five Guys or Pizza but a nutritious and delicious (hopefully) meal.  Usually, you will need to supplement your frozen meal with a salad.  You might try making a huge salad on Sunday night that you can eat throughout the week.  I also buy the "Steamers" when they're on sale at the grocery store.  You can just pop this bag of vegetables in the microwave for five minutes and Voila!, you have your vegetables and a balanced meal.

The nice thing about having this nightly routine is that...new routines can then be tacked on to this routine.  John has started going to the gym after Jack is in bed while I sometimes do extra cooking.  When your life lacks these basic routines, it can feel pretty out of control.  You may feel like you have no "grounding"...I felt like I was just making it through every day and collapsing into bed at the end...then, not even feeling very good about how it went.  This nightly routine has given me something to hold onto...and I feel a sense of MAJOR accomplishment, "Yes, I did that...we had dinner, ate healthy, can have leftovers for our lunch tomorrow."  We spend less on going out to dinner and buying lunches.  I also think it's important that Jack can be part of our nightly meal and it gives us family time.
After a few weeks of cooking, I ran out of ideas on meals to make that are freezer friendly.  I ordered two cookbooks on Amazon.com for freezer meals.  I'm not a big believer in cookbooks with websites out there like http://www.myrecipes.com/ and http://www.allrecipes.com/ but it is hard to find freezer meals on those sites.  Then, you have to adapt the meal yourself to double or tripple it...often it does not turn out quite how you like it when you do that.  I am going to tell you about the cookbook I like the best, first.  Once I work with this cookbook for awhile, I'll move on to the next.

The book is called "Fix, Freeze, Feast" by Kati Neville and Lindsay Tkacsik.  So far, there are many many things I love about this cookbook.  I will highlight a few of those and as I begin experimenting with the recipes, I'll continue to let you know how it is.  I'll then move on to the next cookbook. 
Here are some Fix, Freeze and Feast highlights.

1.  I love the binding on this book...it is satisfying to hold and read...very unique.  I know, this is a strange "highlight" but I do love it.

2.  Designed for people who shop at the "Warehouse" clubs.  Costco!  You know when you go to Costco and buy a "tray" of beef...it's usually 4-6 pounds and you split up the meat into 1 lb portions and freeze those?  (That is what I do.)  Or, you run out of time to do that and throw the whole thing in the freezer and end up with a solid brick of beef...6 pounds worth?  Well this cookbook uses the entire tray of beef for each recipe.  For example, one of the beef recipes is "Cheese Chilada Bake".  The first ingredient is one tray of beef (about 6 lbs).  The recipe makes four entrees, 8 servings each.  So you will be able to freeze four meals after cooking this recipe...or eat one that night, and freeze the other three!  Or give one to a neighbor, make their day, and freeze the remaining three.  They have created their recipes based on the large packages of meat from warehouse clubs.  Genius!

3.  I love the book's intro.  It outlines EVERYTHING you need to know to get started.  And it makes you excited to do it!  It discusses the basics of make-ahead meals, how to get organized with your shopping list, how to select ingredients/ingredient substitutes, how to shop, how to set up your kitchen before your cooking session to make it painless, how to prep your ingredients, how to put it all together, how to correct mistakes (like measuring an ingredient incorrectly, forgetting an ingredient, buying the wrong meat, finding something too salty, etc)...and a lot more helpful information is included as well.

4.  In the back of the book you will find an appendix...the appendix contains sample labels for your convenience!  You can photocopy these and tape them to your freezer containers...they are printed with baking instructions, times and temps.  Very similar to those you use at those meal preparation kitchens like "Let's Dish" or "Dinner Done"...

5.  The appendix also lists resources that include helpful websites, books, magazines, etc.  It also talks about community cooking options like a cooking club or a cooking co-op (which I may consider joining/starting).

So these are a few highlights of this new book I am beginning ("Fix, Freeze, Feast" by Kati Neville and Lindsay Tkacsik.).  I will let you know how the journey goes.  This weekend, I'll discuss how I've learned to simplify grocery shopping and make that a routine and easy part of my weekly life.

Long Day...

Jack has had a fever for 7 days now.  Started low and progressively gotten worse.  This morning at 103.3.  This is not normal!  They checked and no ear infection (took  him to doctor yesterday).  They sent off for a urine culture and I have a sinking feeling that this is another kidney infection.  I worry about the kidney infections and I worry about the constant antibiotics he has had to take because of them.  Then I worry about the C.Diff coming back b/c of the antibiotics and question myself everytime he cries wondering if that is now an issue.

These are the days it is hard to work.  Its hard to come to work, hard to be at work, and hard to focus at work.  I called the nurse this morning at 9:00 to tell her about this fever and still have not heard back.  Of course, she did call me back the one time I left my desk and now am still waiting...I am so frustrated.  John is staying home with Jack today, I stayed home with him yesterday and I'll probably stay home with him tomorrow.

The end of an era...

I quit pumping at work!!!  Jack is exactly nine months old.  I wanted to do this until he was 12 months.  He only had one ounce of formula when he was a day old and since then, had no formula.  I tested it out last week and it seems like he has no preference of breastmilk or formula.  So I thought, I'm going to stop pumping at work...and will continue to nurse him morning and evening.  Well, in one week, it seems my supply has totally adjusted to me not pumping during the day and I'm worried my supply will drop to the point it's not enough for him to nurse in the morning and evening.  All of the sudden, I'm very sad about it.  I also feel guilty about it.  Like I'm falling short, not making it to the one year mark.  It's been so tedious pumping twice every day at work.  And going to work with no pump bag in hand is a great feeling!  Freeeedom!  But today I  brought the pump again and thought, maybe I'll just pump once a day at least for another month...to ensure my body will continue to make enough for the morning and evening pump.  That will bring me to 10 months.  Then maybe my supply will stay up to get him to 11 months of morning/evening nurse and formula during the day.  Luckily, Jack isn't a picky kid.  He'll go to sleep just fine without nursing.  But I do think he likes the cuddle time...I know I do!!!!!!!!!  I'll really miss it. 

The other strange feeling is...well, I really don't like the baby stage very much.  I love JACK (so much sometimes its painful!), but I keep thinking, wow I'm going to love it when he's a "kid" and can talk to me, let me know what he's feeling, etc.  But this end of an era...the end of breast feeding...I just feel like...where is the time going!  It's too fast.  Before I know it, he's going to be getting married and I'll have to call him all the time to get him to remember me.  Okay, I'm getting way ahead of myself.  I just hope I'm not missing too much of this time...

Anyway, those are my thoughts today.  I'm sure it will continue to go round and round in my head until I feel I have some peace about the situation.  Not sure what to do about the BFing (Breast Feeding).

Better take care of my jewelry better!

This is nasty---I need to start taking better care of my jewelry:

http://jezebel.com/5688752/jewelry-is-a-filthy-poisonous-business

"The Juggle"

Thought-inspiring article from The Wall Street Journal blog, "The Juggle"

When Ambition and Reality Collide

What are your thoughts after reading this?  It took me over eight months but I realize that for the first time, I feel confident and good about my decision to be a full time working mom.  Constantly feeling conflicted about the decision was a huge weight on my shoulders...this article brings back some of my questions regarding if I am doing the right or wrong thing...

I do like working, Jack does like daycare.  A part time schedule would be nice but at this point in my life/career, its not the right time for that.

Lie Lie Lie

Hullo!

I'm so tired I am dilerious.  I had a hair appointment tonight (first haircut in 3-4 months) and after I needed to run by the grocery store to get Jack's prescription filled.  (Also, John had a hankering for ice cream and I told him I'd pick some up).  It was 8 pm and I sat in the parking lot before stepping out of the car just feeling...bleh!  Rubbing my eyes trying to gain some sort of...I don't know...normal feelings.  I hate it when I'm so tired that I am not really even aware of the people around me.  I remember this kid doing some strange dance in front of the security cameras coming into the store as I was leaving.  And this manager telling one of the employees she is so sorry she forgot about her.  You know when you just have these small glimpses but are just...out of it.  That's how I feel!  I didn't even know what the shampoo girl looked like until I had to look at her because she started going on and on about how Halloween is her favorite holiday of the year...more than her birthday even.  Anyway, I'm tired.  WHY am I tired? BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So he has had his share of health issues.  Three kidney infections, C. Diff, two ear infections, colds, yada yada.  I've gotten used to responding to everything with him...because of course, if he's sick, than that's what I'm goin to do! But now, oh WOW.  He loves sleeping in my bed.  Seriously!  He stretches out like a king with almost a grin on his face. So I got in this bad habit of bringing him into bed with us when he wakes up and I want to sleep...so much easier than dealing with his waking up all night.  I may have created a monster...not sure.  He wakes up soooooooooooooo much.  WOAH.  And he wants to be in our bed!  I had to take him to the pediatrician today for a follow up appt after his most recent kidney infection.  She said that first of all, around the nine month mark, they do tend to regress with sleep...they become more aware of the world around them.  But that we need to just pick a time, gut up and get Jack to stop associating MY BED (ME) with sleep.  Ugh.  Again?  We've had to do this before too.  It works quickly but its hard!  So tonight John is in charge.  When Jack wakes up, John has to basically go in and say, Hi Jack...its 1:30 AM...go to sleep.  Goodnight.  Something like that.  Something to let Jack know we're there but not playing.  As the doctor is telling me this, Jack is throwing his normal fits.  He's gotten pretty cranky lately b/c he is not really sleeping anymore...she pointed out I need sleep to be best for him and he needs sleep too!  And it's true.  So that's it...no more!  He has to learn.  I know everyone has their differing opinions on sleep methods but at the end of the day, it really does come down to you, your kid, your family and what works best.  I just can't go on anymore with so little sleep.  Over the weekend he was waking up every hour on the hour until I brought him into my bed.  My sleep method is to do what works, be consistent, and then lie to everyone who disagrees with  me?  You believe in co-sleeping and baby wearing?  ME TOO!  You believe in  Cry-it-out?  ME TOO!  You believe in whatever?  ME TOO!  I honestly don't care b/c I  hate hearing peoples opinions.  I'm too tired to have a discussion with anyone about their opinion. BAH!  I'm tired.  Going to sleep.  If you disagree with me, then lie.  Or else...we're not friends anymore.  HAHAHA.  Kidding kind of.  This is what sleep deprivation can do to a person!  I can't even carry a conversation and my tooth hurts so now I'm worried I have something wrong with my teeth.  GOODNIGHT!

Making Friends...

I find this blog so inspiring: http://revmomma.blogspot.com/2010/10/making-friends.html

The writer is a pastor at my church...and I love the authenticity.  Reading Beth's blog is almost therapeutic...to read someone else's thoughts and realize...I'm not alone.  It's nice!

So tonight, I'm writing a post on her blog post.  Hopefully this is okay...

Her post spurred several thoughts...

I'm ALWAYS...and I mean ALWAYS, very conflicted on the SAHM (Stay at home mom) vs. WM (Working mom) decision.  I know myself.  I enjoy working.  I've always enjoyed working.  So I generally enjoy going to work, being around coworkers, feeling a sense of accomplishment, making money, spending money...but I can't stop thinking about how many hours I'm away from my son.  John drops him at daycare at 7:15, I pick him up at 4:00.  It's especially hard after a weekend of being with Jack 24/7.  And realizing that, while my days sometimes seem to go relatively fast, it's actually a long time that I'm away from him. What is he doing and how is he feeling during that time?  He does love his daycare but...still.  So then I start thinking, maybe I should ask if I can work part time?  Or maybe I should not work at all?  I dont know if I'd be happy not working at all.  And ideally I'd like to wait a couple of years to work part time...but am I doing the wrong thing by working full time?  Am I doing a disservice to Jack?  Am I going to really regret this later and wish I could rewind time?  I'm just full of doubt and guilt.  Lots of neighbors around here are stay at home moms and I can't help but feel bad around them.  I'm sensitive to the issue so sometimes even well-meaning comments sting a little.  So with all that said, it seems impossible to know what I should do.  Lately I've been wondering how I can actually keep it all together at this point...making sure we have food in the house, dinners, clean house, time with John, time with Jack...and forget about doing anything that's just for myself.  I spend a fraction of the time I used to with friends.  But this is just life as a working mom.  Not even SAHMs will understand that.  As a working mom, you're away from your kid(s) so much already that you just cannot then come home and do anything with other people and spend even more time away from him.  And since Jack is a SUPER active kid and NOT a napper, I dont even have 2 or 3 hour blocks on weekends to fit things in.  This is just life!  And I do love it (I think)!  But am I doing the right thing?

So Beth's thoughts on friends being hard to make as an adult I totally get. I feel like I make friends easily but I think thats why its been a huge adjustment as a mom...I have no time.  So what do I do with the friends once I make the connection?  I dont have time to do anything.  And then there is that division:  SAHM vs. WM.  It really is different.  Working moms may not understand the challenges of staying at home and I know that I dont think SAHM's understand the challenges of being a working mom...well, some do. 

So those were my thoughts.  And basically, since becoming a mom, I never feel like I totally know my niche.  What am I supposed to do?  What does God want me to do?  What is best for my son, for my family?  There is no clear cut answer!  And regarding God and my faith...I feel like it's almost non-existant and I have no clue how to get it back.  It's like I am so focused on just getting through the day successfully that I've really neglected my spiritual life.  It's been that way for awhile though...even before Jack. 

Anyway, I'm done!  Jack has ANOTHER kidney infection.  I asked the doctor, am I doing something wrong?  She said, no.  There is nothing you can do.  We've done all the tests.  EVerything is "normal".  We did a surgery that was supposed to take care of this but it didn't.  Turns out he is just very prone to these and so now he'll stay on antibiotics for the next 6-12 months, or until he grows out of this (hopefully he does).  It's stressful.  I have to admit I'm sort of proud of myself for being able to work while managing his health issues over the past 8 months b/c that has taken a ton of time.  Started off with him being just plain colicky/refluxy...Three kidney infections, C. Diff, 2 ear infections, and 2 colds later I sometimes feel like I've been to hell and back over the past 8 months.  I have NO LEAVE.  And I feel like I haven't done a good job at work.  But oh well!  I'm glad to have resolved this latest kidney infection.  He went to doctor two days in a row for two shots of a strong antibiotic in each leg.  So of course he has major diarreah.  I was trying to let him air out when I got home from work today with no diaper but that was a very bad idea for obvious reasons...which reminds me, I must go clean!